Something Better
by Bonkers4Reid
Summary: First chapter is set during 2.18 "Jones." JJ helps Reid with his Dilaudid addiction and Reid helps JJ deal with a problem of her own. Friendship, becomes Romance in later chapters. Rated T. Please read the A.N.s. Started this a long time ago, revised July 2012. Sorry for the long hiatus. Chapter 12 is here!
1. At Fault

_Welcome to my new story, Something Better. Chapter one is set during "Jones"._

_This means Emily is pretty new to the team, Gideon is still around, and everything that happens in seasons 3 through 7 has not yet occurred! (spoilers for "Jones" and "Revelations")_

_I will (hopefully) have a quote at the beginning and end of each chapter._

_I don't own Criminal Minds. Please review. :)_

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**"The past is our definition. We may strive, with good reason, to escape it, or to escape what is bad in it, but we will escape it only by adding something better to it." -Wendell Berry**

* * *

The BAU was aboard their jet, flying to New Orleans, Louisiana. Several men had been found dead, in the same manner as some unsolved murders a few years previous.

JJ was sitting across from Emily, pretending to be reading the case file, but in truth, her mind was miles away. She was a little apprehensive about going to New Orleans; Hurricane Katrina had been only two years ago and some parts of the "Big Easy" were still lying in shambles. The visuals of the extensive media coverage would be forever engrained in her mind. For some reason, JJ couldn't shake the mental picture of drowning within her own home.

She glanced over at Reid who was sleeping on the opposite side of the plane. Her mind was suddenly cast back to that night, about a month ago, when Tobias Hankel had taken him. Every time she'd looked at him since, the only thing that she could think of was the torture that he'd been put through. JJ blamed herself for everything, even though it was illogical. She knew she shouldn't blame herself, and everyone kept telling her that it wasn't her fault, but she couldn't stop. It was her fault; she hadn't tried hard enough to stop Spencer when he'd suggested that they should split up.

She looked over at the young genius again. Reid was twitching and mumbling in his sleep. JJ wanted to cry. It was obvious that what he went through in Georgia had changed his life. He was different now, not as innocent and naive as he had been before. Reid had been acting strange lately; he was neurotic and kept to himself more. JJ was worried that he was addicted to the Dilaudid that Hankel had injected him with, but she constantly tried to quell her suspicions. Spencer can't be an addict, he's just going through a hard time, and rightfully so.

JJ looked down at her arm; a jagged scar was visible where one of Hankel's dogs had bitten her. It made her feel sick to think about.

JJ felt like she was being watched. She glanced up at Emily.

"You okay, JJ?" asked the newest member of the team.

"Yeah, I'm fine." she quietly replied, although she was anything but.

* * *

2 days later:

JJ woke up in her hotel room in New Orleans, her head being cradled by a man's arm. Will LaMontagne was in her bed. The previous night rushed back into her mind. He'd taken her out to experience "NOLA." They'd gone to a bar and she even beat him at darts. While they'd been out, JJ was surprised by how much she was enjoying herself. It was the first time since the incident in Georgia that she'd been in a highly social setting, having fun. The charming Southern gentleman had swept her off of her feet with his flirtatious smooth talking. When she was in that bar with him, she'd been free from her guilt and grief and he had even been able to take her mind off of the current case.

JJ was jolted out of her reverie when she realized that she was naked under the bed sheets. She flushed; she'd never been that type of girl. This was the first time that JJ had ever slept with anyone on the first date. Despite the abruptness of it all, she wasn't ashamed. Will was a great guy who made her feel special. JJ hoped that this fling could turn into a long distance romance.

She turned to look at the alarm clock. This movement woke Will.

"Hey" he whispered into JJ's ear. He then pulled her closer and kissed her forehead.

"Will it's eight. We need to be at the station in one hour." she replied urgently. JJ got out of bed and wrapped a blanket around herself.

Will said, "Jeez, I guess we were in a hell of a hurry last night, to forget to set the alarm clock."

JJ blushed, "If I remember correctly, you weren't planning on spending the night."

He laughed, "You actually remember anything about last night?"

"Of course I do," she replied, "I drank about half the amount you did! Seriously Will, we need to get ready!"

He got out of the bed and starting putting his clothes back on. "Well I need to get home to shower and get a change of clothes then."

He kissed her on his way out the door. "See you at the station babe!"

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**"Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it." -J.K. Rowling**

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_"NOLA" is a nickname for New Orleans, in case you couldn't figure that out!_

_Let me know what you think, please review! It'll make me happy (even if it's a bad review, I'll appreciate the criticism!)_


	2. Deception

_I want to send out a huge thank you to those of you who reviewed, favorited, put this on alert, sent me a PM, ect! You guys make me feel so loved! Mad Love and Cookies to you!_

_I don't own Criminal Minds, if I did A.J. and Paget would never have been fired!_

_Now on with the story…_

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**"Will you walk into my parlour?" Said the spider to a fly: "Tis the prettiest little parlour That ever you did spy." - Mary Howitt (The Spider and the Fly)**

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The next day:

The minute JJ got into the FBI building in Quantico, she made a beeline for Garcia's office. She knocked on the door with her signature knock, Garcia had assigned each team member a "knock rhythm" so she always knew who was on the other side of her door.

"The Supreme Genius grants Jennifer Jareau permission to enter!" called Penelope.

The media liaison entered. "Garcia! You will not believe what happened in New Orleans!"

"Well, judging by the enthusiasm in your voice and that ginormous grin plastered on your face, I'd guess something totally awesome?" the technical analyst couldn't keep the anticipation out of her voice.

"I met a guy!" exclaimed JJ, "I think I may have a long-distance boyfriend!" she was practically bouncing in excitement.

"Sit down and spill right now, missy!" ordered Garcia.

JJ sat down in the proffered spare chair, but she was leaning forward and only sitting on the edge. "His name is Will LaMontagne. He was the lead detective on the case. Anyway, Will took me out and we even played darts at the bar!"

Garcia asked, "Did he let you win?"

"Have you seen me play darts? I smoked him!" was JJ's reply.

"Well what happened next?" prompted Garcia. She figured JJ was holding back something juicy.

JJ's voice dropped to just above a whisper, "He spent the night in my hotel room." Penelope squealed. "I know, I know! I've never slept with anyone on the first date before. But Will swept me off of my feet."

"Oh Jayge, I'm so happy for you!" she hugged her friend. "I haven't seen you in this good a mood in ages!" JJ's smile subsided; she knew she'd been pretty downcast since Georgia.

Garcia noticed the change. "Let's get some dirt on Detective LaMontagne, hmm?" she proposed, gesturing at the computer screens filling the room.

"Sounds fun." JJ agreed.

Garcia searched her databases. "Will was born on January 21, 1975. Omigosh! Look at this… his middle name is Eugene!" Both girls giggled. "His high school baseball team was the state champion. He was the pitcher." she said after skimming an article. "He got a full ride's scholarship to the University of Louisiana."

"Wow, he must have been one hell of a pitcher!" exclaimed JJ.

"What's this?" Garcia stopped short. "Oh."

"What is it?" asked JJ urgently.

"JJ, he's married."

"What?" She couldn't believe it.

"Look at this marriage license. He and Kimberly Andrews have been married since 2000." explained Penelope.

"Can you find a record of divorce?" JJ asked frantically.

"No. I don't see a record of a divorce or death for Kimberly. But they do have a son named Aiden, born in 2002."

"What?" JJ was now about to cry.

"I'm sorry babe. I can't find anything to prove that Will is a divorcee or a widower." said Garcia after searching once again, "And I can't find any other properties listed under either of their names, so I don't think they're separated. I'm afraid he used you to cheat on his wife." said Garcia gently.

"No, this can't be right." the tears were now freely flowing from JJ's eyes.

"Come here, hon." Penelope pulled her friend into a hug. "I think he used you, Jayge."

JJ was sobbing in Garcia's arms.

"You'll get past this, babe. I know you will." encouraged Penelope.

"Thanks Pen. I've got to go…" said JJ as she rushed out of the room, wiping her tears away.

* * *

When JJ got to her car in the parking garage, she decided to call Will just to make sure.

"Hello?" said a voice on the other end of the line. A woman's voice.

"Who is this?" asked JJ apprehensively.

"Why don't you answer that yourself, you're the one who called me!" replied the woman coldly.

"Kim?" JJ said.

"Yes, who is this?" she asked, sounding annoyed.

"I'm sorry." JJ hung up the phone.

JJ slammed her hand against the steering wheel. She began to cry again as she thought, 'How could he be so stupid?'

Will had given her his home phone number. The same home number his wife used.

'How could I be so stupid? Why did I sleep with a man I barely knew?'

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**"Men get laid, but women get screwed." -Quentin Crisp**

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_I think these chapters are kinda short, and I apologize if you think so too. I have something huge coming up next chapter and I didn't wanna drop two major "bombs" in one chapter._

_Please Review! I'm dying to know what you think!_


	3. The Unwanted Result

_I really want to thank those of you who reviewed this, favorited it, put it on alert, ect. This is dedicated to all of you!_

_Remember, I don't own Criminal Minds or anything else mentioned here._

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**"That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another..." -Charles M. Schulz, Charlie Brown**

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Three weeks later...

JJ was in the bathroom of her apartment afraid of what she was going to see.

Over the last few weeks she'd been feeling more tired than usual. At first she just thought it was stress from work or the heartache caused from learning that Will had used her. Then she started to notice other changes.

Her breasts had started feeling sore for no discernable reason. And her period had been late, or so she assumed, because her menstrual cycles had always been a bit irregular. She began to fear that she was pregnant. Now she couldn't deny the signs any longer. She had vomited two days in a row.

JJ bought a home pregnancy test on her way home after work. Now she was waiting for the results.

The screen finally changed. It said 'PREGNANT'.

"Damn." She whispered aloud.

It wasn't that she didn't want to be a mom, because JJ did want a husband and kids someday. She just wasn't ready for it all now; especially now in fact.

The father of this child was not her husband; Will wasn't even her boyfriend and she never wanted to see or hear from him again. Thankfully he lived halfway across the country.

JJ began to cry. She didn't want to have a child, not right now, but abortion definitely wasn't an option. She had been raised as a Christian and she knew she wouldn't be able to kill a fetus anyway. Since she began working for the BAU, how many children had died? How many parents? How many women who would never be able to start a family of their own?

No, she couldn't end the life of someone who didn't have the chance to defend him/herself.

For a brief moment, JJ considered having the baby then giving him or her up for adoption. Then she decided against it, 'This baby is my responsibility. I decided to have sex.' She didn't want to have another couple raise a child that felt like he/she wasn't wanted by its biological mother.

JJ decided that she was going to raise this child herself. If she wasn't ready now, at least she had about nine months to prepare herself.

JJ wiped the tears away. She got up off of the bathroom floor then walked to her kitchen to find something to eat. She absently decided to make some soup.

JJ then decided to watch TV, she flipped through the channels, finally settling on What Not To Wear. She just stared blankly, not taking it in whatsoever.

JJ finished her dinner then switched the TV off. She couldn't just pretend that nothing was happening. She had to call someone; she couldn't go through this all by herself.

She pulled out her phone, scrolling through her contacts list.

She considered calling her parents, but then realized that she wasn't ready. She'd let them know later, when she'd finally come to terms with it all.

She saw the names Samantha and Sarah. They were her friends from high school, whom she'd played soccer with. JJ kept up with them from time to time by email or an occasional phone call. She made a point to get together with them whenever she ever went home to Pennsylvania. She couldn't bring herself to call either one of them. JJ rarely saw them and she couldn't dump this on them.

JJ thought about her BAU family. The most obvious person to tell was Garcia. But Penelope had been the only one to know about Will in the first place. When Garcia found out she would connect the dots and JJ didn't think she was ready to live up to the embarrassment just yet.

She thought about Emily. Prentiss was new to the team, and though their job pretty much required that the teammates trust each other with their lives, JJ wasn't sure she could trust Emily with her secrets just yet.

JJ couldn't imagine calling Gideon, Hotch, or Morgan. She looked up to them too much. Gideon was almost like a step-father and Hotch and Morgan were her over-protective older brothers. If she were to reveal her pregnancy to any one of them, she feared they would be disappointed in her.

JJ had seen the name "Spence" below her friend Sarah's name. A few months ago she wouldn't have imagined calling him about something like this, but now it almost made sense.

Reid had been through something traumatic recently and she knew he was still dealing with his own problems. JJ still blamed herself for everything that had happened in Georgia. But revealing her secret to Reid was almost the obvious choice. She truly trusted him and she knew that Reid would listen to her and not judge.

She dialed Reid.

"JJ?" asked Reid's voice over the phone.

"Hey, Spence." JJ instantly regretted calling him; she wasn't ready.

"What's going on? Are you okay?" asked Reid. He was worried. It was very abnormal that JJ would be calling him on a night off.

"Yeah, I'm just fine Reid. I uh… I just need someone to talk to. Can you… can we get together?"

"Um, sure JJ. I'm not doing anything." Reid replied. He was worried about his friend, she seemed to be really nervous or something. In fact, he was happy to hear from her, as he was in dire need of a distraction right now. "Do you want me to come by, or would you like to meet somewhere?"

"I don't want to impose, but can I come over to your place? I kinda want to get out, but I don't really want to talk in public."

"Um, sure I guess." Reid was a little perplexed by JJ's request, but he recognized her urgency.

"Thank you so much Spence! I'll be there in about 20 minutes."

"Ok, I'll see you then JJ. Drive safely." He hung up the phone.

Reid wondered to himself, 'What the heck is going on?' He was surprised that JJ seemed to be turning to him when she was having a problem.

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**"A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp." -Joan Rivers**

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_Kaboom! How'd you like that twist?_

_I know absolutely nothing about pregnancy people! So please let me know if you find any mistakes in this or upcoming chapters._

Please REVIEW! It's the least you can do, I wrote over a thousand words for you!


	4. Support

_I now present to you: chapter four!_

_Thank you so much criminalxxxmindsxxxfreak for giving me a deadline and for all the support!_

_Remember, I know nothing about pregnancy (or drug use for that matter!) So bear with me, and please let me know if anything seems really off._

_Also I want to send out a huge thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited, alerted, sent me a PM, ect, ect, ect! I love the support and appreciate any criticism, good or bad!_

_I don't own CM or anything else mentioned here!_

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**"The truth is rarely pure and never simple." -Oscar Wilde**

* * *

JJ parked her car in the parking lot of Reid's apartment building. She wanted to go in and see him because she desperately needed a friend's comfort right now. But she was hesitating because she really wasn't ready to reveal it all yet.

'I'll just have to rip this band-aid off quickly.' she told herself as she left her car.

Reid looked over his living room once more as he heard the doorbell ring. After he'd gotten off the phone with JJ, he'd raced around straightening things up. It wasn't often that Reid had people over. After deciding it was as clean as it would ever be, he went to go answer the door.

"Hey JJ," started Reid. He saw the tears in her eyes. "What's wrong?"

JJ couldn't stop herself. Her eyes had immediately swelled with tears the moment the door had opened. She threw her arms around her friend, "Thank you Spence."

Spencer didn't know how to react. "Is everything okay?" he asked the sobbing form that was embracing him.

JJ pulled herself away from him. She wiped the tears out of her eyes. "No. I uh…" She didn't know how to tactfully explain it all, so she just let it out. "I'm pregnant, Reid."

Spencer was dumbfounded. He couldn't believe it. "I didn't even know you had a boyfriend, JJ."

"I don't." was her reply. "It's a long story…"

"Umm, well it's obvious you're pretty upset. Why don't you just sit down on the couch and I'll make some tea and we'll just talk. Does that sound okay?" he suggested.

"Okay." JJ responded absently.

Reid went into his kitchen and put the kettle on the stove. He reentered the living room to find JJ perusing his extensive book collection.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

JJ turned around, startled by Reid's voice. "You scared me Reid!" she exclaimed.

"Sorry," he didn't know what to say next. "See anything of interest on my bookshelf?"

"I was kind of eyeing your book on Lizzie Borden." JJ admitted.

Spencer pulled the book titled Lizzie Borden: The Legend, the Truth, the Final Chapter off the shelf. "Yeah, that case always interested me. It's intriguing because it's such an old unsolved double homicide. I first read about it when I was probably about five or six. I'm still drawn to it today."

"I think the maid did it." replied JJ, unenthusiastically.

"Some do theorize that Bridget hated her employers, but I don't know if that justifies murder." said Reid.

"We've seen unsubs kill for much stupider reasons… many of them actually. It's so sad." said JJ quietly. Tears welled to her eyes once again.

"I'll go check on the tea." said Reid as he headed back to the kitchen.

"Uh Spence, do you mind if I…?" she gestured toward his couch.

"Make yourself at home. I'll get our drinks and then we'll talk about all this." said Reid.

"Thank you." she looked into his eyes. He quickly glanced away and entered the kitchen.

A few minutes later, Reid returned with two piping hot mugs of tea. As he sat down beside her and handed her the mug he asked, "Ready to talk about it now?"

JJ took a tentative sip of tea then she responded, "I guess so… Do you remember Detective LaMontagne from New Orleans?"

Reid nodded. "I'm assuming he's the father…?"

JJ stared at the floor. "Yep." She sighed and turned to Reid. "We went out to a bar, and I had a really great time. Will completely swept me off my feet." She blushed, "He ended up staying the night with me. I guess the condom broke…" JJ started to cry again. Reid put his arm around her.

She continued. "I feel so stupid. I can't believe I slept with someone I barely knew."

"Well I assume you'd both been drinking…." started Reid.

"I'm not making any excuses, Reid. I'm an adult. I should have been able to control myself." sobbed JJ.

"Have you called him, did you let Will know that you're pregnant?" asked Spencer.

"No, and I'm not going to… Here's the worst part. When we got back from Louisiana, I told Garcia all about it. She wanted to know more about him, so we searched him on her system." JJ leaned against Reid for support. "He's married."

"What?" Reid almost spilled both mugs of tea.

"Will's married." JJ sobbed. "And they have a son."

Spencer just held his friend close as she cried. After a few minutes, JJ's breathing returned to normal. He whispered, "Why me?"

"What?" asked JJ.

"Why me?" he repeated.

"What do you mean?"

Reid replied, "Why did you come to me? I mean, I'm glad you did, and I want to be here for you. I'm surprised you didn't go to Garcia or Emily or another friend."

"Number one, I trust you. Number two, I'm not sure I can face the embarrassment just yet. Penelope knows the whole story; I can't admit this to her first. And as close as Emily and I have gotten in these last few months, she's still new. I can't dump something this big on someone I don't know all that well." explained JJ.

"Thank you for trusting me. And JJ," he waited until she looked him in the eyes, "Don't be ashamed of this. Pregnancy is a beautiful thing."

She almost smiled, "You're not the one puking your guts out every morning!"

They sat together on the couch in silence for a few minutes. Finally, Reid couldn't take it anymore. His mind was screaming at him, 'Tell her!'

"JJ?" he was suddenly extremely nervous.

"Yeah Spence?" she looked up at his face.

"If you can trust me with this, can I trust you with something?" he asked anxiously.

"Of course you can! What is it?" she replied, her voice full of concern.

"I – I need help." he said apprehensively.

"With what?" JJ feared that she already knew Reid's answer.

"I'm having…." he sighed, "a problem with Dilaudid."

"Oh." she replied sadly.

Reid began to break down crying as he explained: "I used it for a few weeks after the ordeal with Hankel. Then when we were in New Orleans, I met up with an old acquaintance of mine, Ethan."

JJ interrupted him, "Is that when you missed the plane to Texas?"

He nodded, "Afterward, I had a discussion with Gideon. I reevaluated the job and all its risks. Ultimately I decided to stay with the Bureau."

"I'm glad you did." whispered JJ.

"After we got home from that case, I threw out the drugs. But I can't stop thinking about it."

Reid started sobbing, and JJ tried to soothe him by rubbing his back. He continued, "I've been drinking alcohol and taking over-the-counter medications. But it's not the same, and I don't know how to stop."

"You need professional help, Spence. That's something I can't provide. I want to be there for you every step of the way, but you need counseling." said JJ empathetically.

"I'll go to rehab. I'll do anything to stop this from controlling my life. I want to be here for you during your pregnancy." said Reid.

"Thank you, Spence. I want to be here for you during your recovery."

The pair embraced and sat entangled in each other's' arms for a short while.

"It's after midnight…" whispered Spencer.

"I should be heading home then…" started JJ.

"No. Please, stay here tonight. I don't want you out driving this late. You can sleep on my bed." offered Reid.

"Thank you, Reid. It's all right; I can sleep on the couch. It's your apartment; I don't want to impose…"

"Trust me, this couch is very uncomfortable. You'll want the bed. Besides, it's not just your comfort I'm concerned about…"

JJ blushed when she realized that he was referring to the fact that she was pregnant. She kissed him and headed in the direction of Spencer's master suite. They told each other goodnight.

Reid found a blanket and laid down on the couch. He had a hard time falling asleep that night. 'Maybe it has something to do with that kiss…'

* * *

**I've found a reason for me**

**To change who I used to be**

**A reason to start over new**

**And the reason is you**

**(Hoobastank - "The Reason")**

* * *

_This felt a lot longer to write than it felt when I read it over! Oh well! I also didn't really feel like I conveyed their emotions well enough, so please let me know what you think!_

_I couldn't decide what I wanted JJ and Reid to talk about on his bookshelf. The other day I was watching something on the Discovery Channel about the Borden murders in Fall River, MA in 1892. I thought, "well this is good enough, why not?" If you want to know more about all of that, Google it!_


	5. Revelations

_I've titled chapter 5 Revelations. Ironic, eh?_

_To be completely honest, this chapter really sucks! And it's also really short. Sorry! It's the best I could do._

_Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and put this on alert! And I also want to thank those of you who read my random one-shot Zero. I should have just worked on this, but I couldn't resist!_

_I don't own Criminal Minds!_

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**"When something that honest is said it usually needs a few minutes of silence to dissipate." -Pamela Ribon**

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The following Monday morning:

"Did JJ mention a new case to you?" Gideon asked, poking his head into Aaron Hotchner's office.

"No. What are you talking about, Jason?" replied Hotch, standing up.

"She's just summoned us all into the conference room." explained Gideon.

"We haven't been requested to go anywhere. And if JJ was going through the files herself, she would have consulted me about it."

"Well let's find out what she's doing then." said Gideon.

The two walked into the conference room right behind Emily, Morgan and Garcia. JJ was standing in her usual spot, in front of the tv screen, which was turned off. She was whispering something to Reid who was sitting at the table in the chair closest to her.

"What's this about JJ?" asked Morgan. "I didn't know we had a case."

"We don't." JJ admitted as the team entered the room. She waited until they were all sitting. "I have an announcement to make."

The room was completely silent, waiting for their media liaison to continue.

"I don't… I don't know how to start…" JJ looked extremely uneasy. The blonde took a deep breath, "I guess I'll just let it out. I-I'm pregnant."

Garcia and Emily's mouths fell open, almost simultaneously.

Morgan started to smile, but he wasn't sure why.

Hotch and Gideon just stared straight at her.

JJ looked around at the team's faces, "Um, hello?" she chuckled nervously.

"Not to be rude and inappropriate, but who is the father?" asked Prentiss.

"Oh," JJ's face dropped. "Well unfortunately, it turned out to be a one night stand. He used me to cheat on his wife." Tears started to escape her eyes.

Reid held out his hand for her to hold, but it was too late. Garcia had flown out of her chair and she hurried over to JJ to hug her. "It's okay Jayge." Garcia whispered as the two rocked back and forth.

After a minute, JJ pulled away from Penelope. She wiped her eyes and continued, "I'm keeping this baby though, and I'm going to raise him or her on my own."

"Congratulations!" said Morgan.

"That's wonderful, JJ!" exclaimed Emily.

Gideon walked up to JJ as he hugged her he told her, "I know you'll be a great mother."

"Thank you." replied JJ.

During all of this, Hotch had remained seated.

When the commotion died down, the unit chief asked, "JJ, you're not quitting right?"

"No, of course not! But I'll definitely need some time off once I give birth. Raising a child alone will be a big adjustment."

"Then I'll arrange an extended maternity leave for you."

"Oh thank you, Hotch." exclaimed JJ as she hugged her boss.

Emily looked at Reid, he hadn't said a word during all of this. "Earth to genius!" she called.

"Huh?"

"Reid, you didn't even react to JJ's news!" retorted the brunette.

"Oh, I already knew."

"What?" exclaimed Garcia.

JJ stepped in, "I went over to Reid's place the other night. I really needed someone to talk to."

"Oh." she replied. Garcia seemed hurt that JJ hadn't come to her with this.

Reid stood up and cleared his throat, "Um, I guess I need to make an announcement also."

JJ pulled Reid aside, "Are you sure this is how you want to do it?"

"Positive." replied the slender agent.

Reid turned back to the team, "Well I was just going to discuss this with Hotch in his office, but I feel like you all should know, so I'm just going to do this now."

JJ sensed Spencer needed her support right now, so she put her arm around him. "Thanks." he whispered.

"I'm going to a rehab facility."

Emily sighed. Morgan's smile subsided.

"After what happened in Georgia, I had a brief problem with Dilaudid. But then Gideon and I had a discussion."

Gideon gave Reid a knowing nod, urging him to continue.

"After that, I threw out the drugs. But now I can't stop thinking about them." Reid's voice broke, he started to cry. JJ rubbed his back.

Garcia too began to cry.

"The other night, JJ came to me about her pregnancy and I let her know about my addiction." He rubbed his eyes. "We looked into a place called the New Beginnings Rehabilitation Center. I've enrolled myself in a two-week inpatient program starting Wednesday."

"So you can get the help you need." whispered JJ sadly.

Morgan stood and walked over to his friend. "I'm always here for you man. We'll all be here for you through this process."

"Thank you Morgan." replied Reid.

"I'll come visit you!" said Penelope as she too came up to him.

Gideon stepped up, "We're all going to support both of you in any way you need. Just like a family should."

* * *

**"A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar." -Mark Twain**

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_Yeah it's super short! And I'm not all that happy with it._

_Review, pretty please? With virtual cherries on top? And whipped cream and sprinkles!_


	6. Dinner

_This is a really long chapter (at least compared to the last one!)_

_I don't own anything mentioned below. Still bummed I don't own CM!_

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**"Love is the master key which opens the gates of happiness." -Oliver Wendell Holmes**

* * *

2 Weeks Later:

JJ pulled into the New Beginnings Rehabilitation Center parking lot and put her car into park. JJ was in such a rush to get out of the car that she had to turn back because she'd left her keys in the ignition.

She couldn't help it; JJ was extremely excited to see Reid. Almost the entire time that he'd been in the rehab center, she'd been working for the BAU. In the past two weeks they'd been called on two grueling cases. She had had a doctor's appointment on the day off in-between the cases. JJ had only been able to visit Reid on the first two days of his treatment. Now it had been twelve days since she'd seen him, the longest time she could remember not having him around.

Today was the last day of Reid's treatment. They'd talked on the phone the day before and JJ said that she'd be there to pick him up. They had plans to go out to eat at a small Italian restaurant nearby.

JJ entered the building and was welcomed by a chipper, brunette receptionist, "Hello, are you here to see someone?" But JJ didn't need to talk to the woman; Reid was already walking towards her. JJ smiled and pointed at Reid. The woman understood.

Reid and JJ embraced, "I missed you" they both said almost simultaneously. JJ giggled. Reid smiled.

"Let's go." said Spencer. He was holding JJ's hand and in the other he carried a suitcase. His satchel was slung over his shoulder.

"You don't need to check out or anything?" asked the blonde.

"Nope, already did that. Plus I checked myself in here, it's not like they could have stopped me from leaving or anything."

"True." JJ replied as the pair exited the building.

"Hey, can I drive?" Reid asked.

"You sure you wanna do that?" JJ laughed. "I think I'm still recovering from the last time you drove!"

"What are you talking about?" Reid asked, perplexed.

"Dr. Eidetic Memory forgot?" teased JJ.

"No, the last time I drove you anywhere was to that Redskins game…" said Reid, even more confused.

"Duh! That's what I was referring to!"

JJ hit the trunk release button on her key remote.

"Oh." Reid put his suitcase in the trunk. "That car was driving erratically. I had to get out of the way!"

"Spence, I think it was YOU who was driving erratically." said JJ playfully. She tossed him the keys anyway.

Before putting the key in the ignition, Reid inspected JJ's keychain. Attached were a mini-flashlight and a green "J" decoration.

Reid started the car and pulled out of the parking lot as JJ flipped through the radio stations. "Ohh I love this song!" she exclaimed.

"What is this?" Reid scrunched his face as he listened to the music, trying to see if he recognized it while also focusing on his driving.

"It's called "Hey There Delilah" by the Plain White T's." JJ explained.

"Never heard of it." said Reid.

"Figures." JJ listened to the lyrics. "Darn, it's half over already!" She sat in the passenger's seat, awkwardly humming. "Do you mind if I sing along?"

"Go right ahead! It's your car after all!" laughed Reid.

JJ began singing softly, eventually belting it out.

_"A thousand miles seems pretty far_

_But they've got planes and trains and cars_

_I'd walk to you if I had no other way_

_Our friends would all make fun of us_

_And we'll just laugh along because we know_

_That none of them have felt this way_

_Delilah I can promise you_

_That by the time that we get through_

_The world will never ever be the same_

_And you're to blame_

_Hey there Delilah_

_You be good and don't you miss me_

_Two more years and you'll be done with school_

_And I'll be making history like I do_

_You'll know it's all because of you_

_We can do whatever we want to_

_Hey there Delilah here's to you_

_This one's for you_

_Oh it's what you do to me_

_Oh it's what you do to me_

_Oh it's what you do to me_

_Oh it's what you do to me_

_What you do to me"_

The song ended and Daughtry's "It's Not Over" began playing. JJ turned down the volume.

"So, what'ja think?" asked JJ playfully.

Reid smiled, "About what? The song or your singing?"

"Whichever."

"I actually enjoyed that song, even if it was only the second half. And you're a better singer than I thought!" replied Reid as he pulled into Buccemi's parking lot.

"What's that supposed to mean?" JJ pointed to an open parking spot, far down the row.

"Nothing bad." he put the car in park "I just didn't know you sang."

"I guess I'm just a mysterious person!" JJ laughed.

They walked hand in hand to the Italian bistro.

A hostess greeted them inside. "Welcome to Buccemi's! Would you like a table or a booth?"

Reid said "Booth" at the same time that JJ said "Table."

They looked at each other, smiling.

JJ said "Booth" at the same time that Reid said "Table."

The hostess laughed, "Wanna try again?"

"Booth." said Reid.

"Alright, booth it is! Follow me."

Immediately after the hostess had seated them, a waiter approached. "Hi, my name is Ryan, I'll be your server this evening. What can I get you two to drink?"

"Iced tea." replied JJ.

"I'll have a lemonade." answered Reid.

Ryan left them to read their menus.

One quick glance at the menu told Reid exactly what he wanted, "That 5-cheese lasagna sounds good."

"Wow Spence, I never get used to how fast you can read! I'm not even done with the first page!"

Reid laughed, "Sorry." He remained silent a few minutes, waiting for JJ to decide on her entrée.

JJ finally looked up from her menu, "I can't decide between the tomato ziti or the alfredo."

"I'd pick the alfredo if I were you, but it is your meal, so it's your decision…" replied Reid.

"I'm going with the alfredo." she smiled.

"I uh need to visit the man's room, if the waiter comes back before I do, will you order for me?"

"Sure."

While Reid was gone, JJ thought back to the car ride over. She had actually sang! JJ realized that she'd been acting very unlike herself lately. Especially around Reid. 'Maybe it's the hormones.' She thought. She reflected on the song she'd been belting out. The lyrics to "Hey There Delilah" made her think about the days that she and Spencer had been apart. 'Why am I thinking about Reid in this way? He can't love me… I'm pregnant with another man's baby for God's sake!'

Reid reappeared. "Did the waiter come?" JJ didn't have time to respond, Ryan had followed Reid back to the table.

"Are you ready to order?" he asked.

Reid nodded at JJ, signaling her to start. "I'll have the fettuccine alfredo."

"And for you sir?"

"Uh… the five-cheese lasagna." replied Reid.

"There'll be about a 20 minute wait on that, I'll be back with your breadsticks shortly." said the waiter as he took their menus away.

"Did you almost forget?" giggled JJ.

"Forget what?" he asked.

"You uhh-ed for five minutes!"

"That's not true!"

"Okay, whatever." replied JJ.

There was a lull in conversation for a few minutes. Reid broke the silence, his tone more serious now: "So how are things going with your pregnancy?"

"I went to the doctor a few days ago, she said things are developing normally."

"That's good! I was thinking about you while I was at the rehab facility." he paused. "So how far along are you now?"

"About five weeks." she replied.

"Five weeks… the baby's fingernails should be starting to develop."

"Wow. That's incredible! How do you know so much about fetal development?" JJ asked.

"I don't know, I must have read a chart or something before. I've been in enough hospitals to read all kinds of medical posters."

JJ laughed, "You could probably get a medical degree, DOCTOR Reid."

They both laughed at this. Ryan approached with a plate full of breadsticks.

"Thank you." said the pair as the waiter set the tray down.

"Just a little longer on your meals." Ryan explained. "Is there anything else I can get you?"

"Not right now, thanks." replied JJ.

Reid took a breadstick and smothered it in marinara sauce. JJ delicately dipped hers in the sauce cup. "No double-dipping!" she joked.

Spencer finished his breadstick and reached for another. "These are delicious! I haven't had this good of food in a while!"

"Spence, this is only the appetizer! What, did they not feed you at New Beginnings?"

"Yes, the food was pretty decent, but come on, JJ! Are these not the best breadsticks ever?"

"Okay, I'm making a mental note that this is your new favorite restaurant!"

"Cool it, Ms. Food Critic. I'll wait until I've finished my entrée before I pass judgment on this establishment. Another pro is its clean bathrooms!"

The waiter returned with their meals.

"Looks delicious, thank you!" said JJ.

After they had dug into their pasta, JJ continued the conversation: "So back on the subject of New Beginnings, how'd everything go? I mean, it seems everything went pretty well, you're acting happier than I've seen you in months!"

'Maybe it's because I'm with you.' thought Reid. Instead, he said, "Thanks, JJ. I really do feel great. Just talking to the counselors and others who'd struggled in the past helped quite a bit. I was really determined to end my addiction." His voice broke. JJ put her hand on his, giving Reid the nerve to continue. "I really had some great motivation too. My job… and you of course."

JJ couldn't meet Reid's eyes for the duration of the meal. She stared directly at her plate until she was forced to look up at the sound of the waiter's voice.

"Can I get you a refill on your lemonade, sir?" Ryan asked Reid.

"No thanks, I think we're almost finished."

"Well in that case, here's your bill. Are you sure there's nothing else I can get for you?"

"I think we're good." Reid replied.

"For you ma'am?" the waiter asked JJ.

JJ met Spencer's eyes and she blushed. "No, thank you."

"Have a nice evening then." said Ryan as he left the table.

"I've got the tip." said JJ as she reached for her purse.

"No JJ, my treat. I insist!"

"I know, that's why I'm paying the tip!" she flashed him a glare that said "Don't argue with me, you lose!"

"Okay!" Reid relented. "Jeez, you could stare down any unsub!"

"It's called being a woman."

After she'd left a generous tip at the table, they went up to the counter and Reid paid the bill.

They walked outside and JJ handed Reid her keys once again. "You're not such a bad chauffeur after all."

"Thanks" he replied as they got in the car. "Where to?"

JJ laughed, "I know you haven't been home in forever, but would you like to go shopping with me?"

Reid was completely taken aback. "Um… sure, what for?"

"See this skirt?" she motioned at the skirt she was wearing.

"Yeah, what about it? I mean it looks nice on you and all…"

"I NEVER wear this skirt. But it's the only thing that fits that looks halfway decent."

"So clothes shopping?" asked Reid, sarcastically rolling his eyes.

"If you don't mind… I'm not really showing yet, but I guess I'm just bloated. Remember, I've spent the last two weeks away on cases, that means eating out or fast food for EVERY meal!"

"Okay, shopping it is! What store?"

* * *

**"I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who overcomes his enemies." –Aristotle**

* * *

_I thought this was a good stopping point! Next chapter=shopping trip! I know it was pretty fluffy, but they got into some serious stuff too!_

_I picked the two songs mentioned off of a list of 2007's top hits. That's when this took place, so yeah…_

_I overused the waiter's name intentionally, for some reason I'm obsessed with knowing the server's name whenever I'm at a restaurant. Oh, by the way, I came up with the name of the restaurant myself, just picked an Italian-sounding name!_

_And having JJ fight Reid about paying the tip is something that I do myself. I feel like both parties on a date should pay 50/50, but I'll let the guy think he won the argument! haha_

_Please review! :)_


	7. Shopping

_Author's note: Hello, FanFiction world! Here I am back again without an update since November. I so, so, so apologize! And I really want to thank those of you who are sticking around to read more. And to those of you who discovered this story during my extended hiatus, I didn't give up on you!_

_So, to recap, this is set during season 2, after "Jones." JJ is pregnant. Will is the father, but he used her to cheat on his wife. When JJ discovered that she was pregnant she turned to Reid for support. Reid has been struggling with his Dilaudid addiction, so JJ helped him sign up for an in-patient rehab center._

_Last chapter, JJ went to pick Reid up after his last day of the two week rehab and they went out to eat. (I also included the end of chapter six in italicized print)_

* * *

**"Mankind are governed more by their feelings than by reason."- Samuel Adams**

* * *

_After she'd left a generous tip at the table, they went up to the counter and Reid paid the bill._

_They walked outside and JJ handed Reid her keys once again. "You're not such a bad chauffeur after all."_

_"Thanks" he replied as they got in the car. "Where to?"_

_JJ laughed, "I know you haven't been home in forever, but would you like to go shopping with me?"_

_Reid was completely taken aback. "Um… sure, what for?"_

_"See this skirt?" she motioned at the skirt she was wearing._

_"Yeah, what about it? I mean it looks nice on you and all…"_

_"I NEVER wear this skirt. But it's the only thing that fits that looks halfway decent."_

_"So clothes shopping?" asked Reid, sarcastically rolling his eyes._

_"If you don't mind… I'm not really showing yet, but I guess I'm just bloated. Remember, I've spent the last two weeks away on cases, that means eating out or fast food for EVERY meal!"_

_"Okay, shopping it is! What store?"_

* * *

"Well, I feel like I should start investing in some maternity wear. My sister-in-law raved about Target at her baby shower." JJ replied.

Reid pulled out of the parking spot and headed in the direction of the nearest Target store. "I didn't know you were an aunt!"

"Yep, and I love it! My older brother Jacob and his wife Melissa have two kids. Macie is five and Tyler is almost two."

"Are you the baby of the family? I can't believe we've worked together for this long and I've never heard you discuss your childhood!" responded Reid.

"Yeah, I think I was a kind of a surprise. Jake was eight and Jessica was five when I was born."

"I didn't even know you had a sister! Do your siblings still live in Pennsylvania?"

"She died when I was eleven. Suicide." she squinted to prevent herself from letting tears escape her eyes. "This is why I don't talk about my family much." She laughed awkwardly and brushed her bangs aside. "Jake and Melissa live about thirty miles from my parents."

Reid's tone was now more serious, "JJ, I had no idea. I'm so sorry I pressed."

"It's okay, really, don't worry about it. It was pretty difficult for a while. My brother was in college by that time, so all of the sudden I was practically an only child. My parents even separated briefly, but I think the whole thing eventually made their marriage stronger."

Reid found a spot in the Target parking lot. "I'm no stranger to difficult childhoods, and ultimately I think it makes people who they are. Maybe your experiences then helped make you the compassionate, receptive woman you are today."

"Are you profiling me, Dr. Reid?" JJ laughed, a bit more comfortable now that they weren't talking about Jessica specifically.

They exited the vehicle then walked though the sliding doors of the retail store.

JJ made a beeline for the women's clothing department, in which she quickly found the maternity section. Spencer followed her, gawking at the clothes surrounding him. "You really seem to know your way around this store."

"I come here every so often. I get almost all of my clothes from stores in the mall though." replied JJ as she looked at some dress pants.

"I've only set foot in a Target store once or twice." replied Reid.

JJ moved on to another rack, this one displaying jeans. Again, the genius followed close behind her. 'What am I supposed to be doing right now?' he thought.

JJ held up a shirt with a bold black and red zigzag pattern. "What do you think of this?"

"It kinda looks like something Garcia would wear. But the shape looks like maternity wear."

The blonde laughed, "You're right, I'll get a more subdued print." She then opted for a gray and white plaid shirt from the same rack. "I think I'm ready to try this stuff on." Reid was surprised to see that JJ had at least ten items in her hands. 'How did she grab all those clothes already? We just got here!'

She led the way to the fitting rooms. Reid decided to sit in one of the chairs outside.

Spencer sat fidgeting in an uncomfortable blue chair. About ten minutes had passed, so he called down the row of fitting room doors, "Everything okay in there, JJ?"

"I'm almost done," came her voice from the third room, "just a sec."

Within a minute, the blonde agent emerged. "Sorry I'm keeping you out so late. I know you haven't been home in ages," she apologized as she sorted the clothes she was going to purchase from the ones she didn't want. "I'm done now and we can be on our way…."

Reid stood up. "I didn't mean to rush you. Actually I really do enjoy being able to spend time with you." JJ blushed, causing Reid to smile involuntarily. "At first I thought you would model each item of clothing, but after a few minutes I realized that wasn't the case…"

She cut him off, "Oh, sorry, did you want me to?"

"No, it's okay; I'll see them on you eventually at work. Plus, you'd look beautiful in anything." He saw the look of disbelief on her face, "What? It's true!"

"Oh, Spence! What did I do to deserve you as a friend?" 'Friend? Why did I say that?' she thought. So she went out on a limb, "Or, are we friends? This was technically a date… I'm so confused."

Reid's face was bright red but his eyes glowed with their usual enthusiasm as he asked, "Do you want to be more than friends, JJ? I mean, I would, if you want, but we don't have to, and I you're pregnant and all..." he rambled on.

JJ dropped the maternity clothes in the chair Spencer had been sitting in. "I'd love to." she replied as she threw her arms around him.

There they were, embracing in front of Target's fitting rooms, neither one letting go for several minutes, lost in their own euphoric world, oblivious to the store around them.

* * *

**"Why not go out on a limb? That's where the fruit is."- Will Rogers**

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed it! And again, I'm really sorry for such a long time between chapters!_

_Please review! And remember, you can always send me threatening PM's if you're getting mad about the time between updates._


	8. The L Word part 1

_It's been nearly 4 months since my last update. I APOLOGIZE for my extreme belatedness!_

_I just want to point out that I write for my own entertainment/relaxation, and that fanfiction is just a hobby for me. But if I were someone who had subscribed to this story, I'd be pretty pissed at the author! And for that I am truly sorry! This chapter is dedicated to you, my awesome readers and supporters, and to one in particular: Astanley1991, who gave me a "kick in the pants"!_

_Anyway, onto chapter eight! This is set two months after the events of chapters six and seven. (So JJ is about three months pregnant here.)_

_Usual disclaimers apply! I don't own a thing besides my own imagination!_

* * *

**"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love."- Sophocles**

* * *

Two months later:

Today was just another day working for the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI in Quantico. No new cases, just a simple day filled by paperwork, boredom, and gossip.

Gideon passed the time in his office catching up on making new pages in his book of victims his team had saved. He was also thinking about his plans for the upcoming weekend; he and Sarah were planning a trip to Ohio to see his son Stephen, whom he hadn't seen in about two years. They were going to reconnect and to meet Stephen's new fiancée, Andrea. Jason was genuinely excited about the trip, but also a bit apprehensive. He just hoped the team wouldn't get called away on a case in the next few days.

Hotch worked on reports for Strauss, but kept getting interrupted by phone calls. So he spent most of the day doing consults over the phone for minor cases deemed unnecessary for the BAU team to fly out to work on in person.

Morgan couldn't focus on his paperwork. He decided to go see what Garcia was up to. Prentiss followed Derek; she too just couldn't concentrate on work when it looked so nice outside. 'Well at least we're not at a crime scene or in a morgue,' she thought.

* * *

Dr. Reid was filling out papers, the stack taller than usual because they'd had several cases in a row with very little downtime in between. He worked at a slower pace than usual, his mind preoccupied by thinking about JJ.

Their relationship was such a good thing for him. He didn't worry so much about relapsing and talking about what happened in Georgia has gotten easier. And doing so seemed to have put JJ more at ease as well. Reid knows he's in love with her, but he's too afraid to say those words, those words that every woman wants to hear from her boyfriend. I love you. Spencer's apprehensive because he'd never told a woman that before, besides his mother. And voicing 'the L word' to JJ would set things in motion. He had daydreams about marrying her and adopting the baby developing inside of her. It would be the perfect solution to his anxiety of fathering a child and passing down the gene that would predispose any of his potential offspring to mental disorders, specifically schizophrenia.

* * *

JJ had given up on the files. There was just too many, just too much horror. She was now comparing prices on cribs online. Even though she was about three months along, JJ hadn't bought much yet in the way of baby stuff. She had stocked up on maternity clothes, even buying outfits that will fit her at nine months pregnant. She looked down at her belly, getting bigger and rounder every week. She knew why she'd been putting off buying baby clothes, a crib, a car seat, and bottles. Uncertainty.

JJ was certain she was going to raise the baby herself; she'd made that decision the day she took the pregnancy test. But she was very uncertain about how she would be able to raise her child.

JJ lived in a small, one-bedroom apartment. When she'd moved in, she decided it was good enough for one person, especially for one person who was never home. Plus, the rent was low, so she could afford to wear more expensive clothing and have money for fun things like concerts, dining out, movies, and the occasional girls' night out with her coworkers. Now her apartment was a problem because she didn't have a spare bedroom for a nursery.

Her job was also a problem. Hotch had told her that she would have an extended maternity leave, but what was she going to do after that? Working for the BAU was not a typical nine-to-five job, and days like today were the exception. The team traveled all over the country and could be out of the state for days at a time, with very little advanced notice. Her family lives in Pennsylvania, so they couldn't watch her child. (Let alone the fact that she still hadn't told her parents, brother, and friends back home about her pregnancy yet). And how could she hire a nanny when she worked this kind of schedule?

Another uncertainty in JJ's life was her relationship with Reid. Things had gotten pretty serious since Reid had left New Beginnings Rehabilitation Center. They always sat side by side on the BAU jet and ate together when the team was on the road. When they were in Virginia, Reid liked to spend time at JJ's apartment. The pair spent evenings reading pregnancy books, looking at baby items online, getting to know each other on a romantic level, and just talking about life. But they reserved their kisses for times when they were behind closed doors, or when there were no team members around. They also had a rule that Reid would not spend time in JJ's office in Quantico.

It wasn't that they wanted to keep their relationship a secret from the team; they just didn't want their friends to make jokes and inject themselves into it all. Their relationship was between the two of them, and even though the team was family, JJ and Spencer didn't need them knowing every little detail.

But the uncertainty JJ was feeling came from not knowing how to define their relationship status. She thought of him as her boyfriend, and Reid called her things like sweetheart, darling, dear, and honey (always in private of course). JJ knew she'd need to move to a bigger place, and in her mind she could imagine the two of them living together. However, she was too afraid to voice such ideas. Thoughts like 'Would Reid really help when the baby was here, even though it isn't his child?' and 'Would he want to marry me someday?' swirled in her mind. Their first date had been only two months ago, and under normal circumstances she'd say things were moving too fast, but being pregnant changes things.

The thing that would give her confidence and security was one little word, four letters long and starting with an L. JJ was certain she loved Reid, and it wasn't just her hormones. She had never felt this way about any man before. The emotion evoked when she thought about him was so real that it petrified her. But JJ told herself that she wasn't going to be the first to say it. She needed Spence to be the one to say "I love you." Because then it wouldn't all be in her head. It would actually be real. And JJ would be able to pluck up the nerve to ask him those questions that plagued her when she was trying to sleep.

* * *

Morgan knocked on Penelope's door in his assigned knock rhythm. "Come on in here, you sexy chocolate god!"

Derek rolls his eyes and smiles. As he enters the room he smells a rich vanilla scent. "Whatcha up to Babygirl? And what is that divine smell?"

The flamboyant technical analyst, who has pink streaks in her hair this month, was wearing a yellow dress with a purple belt. Her fingernail polish, earrings, bracelet, necklace, shoes, and even her glasses are all the same shade of purple as the belt. "That, my stud muffin, would be my new Glade PlugIn with vanilla scented oil. Sometimes it gets musty-smelling in here, and you know I can't have that!"

As Morgan laughs, Emily pokes her head in, "Mind if I join you guys?"

"Come on in my pretty! And your coffee cup too!" Garcia's chipper voice goes low, in a playful growl she continues, "Just as long as you don't spill it!"

"I promise I won't!" laughs Prentiss as she closes the door behind her, something Morgan forgot to do.

"Pinky-swearsy?" asks Garcia in a childish voice.

"I pinky-swear!" responds the brunette as she and Garcia link little fingers.

"Okay, I trust you." Penelope looks at Prentiss and Morgan, "Now, let's get down to business. Today we're going to get some answers! Operation Lovebirds is underway!"

Emily asks, "Morgan, how are you going to get Reid alone?"

"I'm going to take him down to the cafeteria, and then while we're eating, it's interrogation time!"

"And Garcia, how are we getting JJ in here?" asks Prentiss.

"Once Morgan leaves to collect Reid, I'll call her in here. And once she's here, you stand in front of the door to block her in!" replies Penelope.

"But what are you going to say to her to make sure she comes?" asks Morgan.

"I'll tell her I have cookies. We'll use her pregnancy against her!" Garcia then begins to cackle like a cartoon witch.

* * *

**"To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead." – Bertrand Russell**

* * *

_When I started working on this chapter, I just couldn't stop! It was close to 4,000 words, so I brought out the imaginary scissors, *snippy snip*, and thus, two chapters were born! Part one (which you've just read) is more serious, aside for the fun foreshadowing at the end of course. Part two is basically all fluff._

_Also, I'm a self-acknowledged Grammar Nazi, and I know that all throughout elementary school the teachers told us that you couldn't start sentences with 'and' or' but' or 'because', and that a sentence needs a subject and a predicate. But I recently reread Suzanne Collins's The Hunger Games books and I've been artistically inspired! Sometimes fragments spice up stories! Another thing I've been working on as a writer is being more descriptive and paying attention to the little details, so let me know how I'm doing!_

_Please review, I LOVE FEEDBACK!_


	9. The L Word part 2

_I told you that it wasn't going to be a long wait! But don't expect another new chapter tomorrow. You all just got lucky because it was originally one big chapter that I made into two._

_This chapter is the same day as chapter 8, minutes later in fact. Operation Lovebirds is underway!_

_My plans for chapter ten are very serious and heart wrenching. So enjoy the fluff while you still can!_

_Remember, I don't own a thing!_

* * *

**"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." – George Burns**

(since the BAU is a family!) :)

* * *

Morgan leaves Penelope's office chuckling. He checks his watch and sees that it's 11:40. When the team is actually in Quantico, Morgan usually takes his lunch break at noon with Garcia and Emily. Reid and JJ usually eat around 12:30. He decides that doing it now is better, rather than sitting next to Reid for twenty minutes, then suggesting lunch.

He walks over to the genius who is filling out yet another sheet of paperwork. Morgan puts one hand on the back of Reid's chair and his other atop Reid's desk: effectively cornering him in. "Hey Prettyboy, let's go grab some lunch."

Reid looks at the clock on the computer screen in front of him, "Isn't it kinda early for lunch, Morgan?"

"Come on man, I'm bored outta my mind here! Damn hungry too!" he rubs his stomach for emphasis.

"Oh, alright! You're pretty convincing." Reid agrees to go along with Morgan. He'd rather wait and eat with JJ, but he doesn't want to arouse suspicion.

* * *

"Okay, the guys are in the elevator." Emily informs Garcia as she looks into the bullpen from the technical analyst's doorway. "Call her up!"

The ringing phone brings JJ back to the present, she quickly 'X's out of the browser with the cribs, as if the person on the phone could tell she wasn't actually working.

"Hello?"

It's Garcia's voice on the other end, "Why hello JJ," she says a little too sweetly. This should be a tip-off for JJ, but she's not focused today and doesn't notice.

"What's up, Pen?"

"I have cookies!" sings Garcia.

"Okay…" JJ is tempted, but she really needs to get back to the files that she's been neglecting for the past half hour.

"You better get here fast! Before Emily eats them all!" says Garcia. She's cut off by Emily's indignant: "I am NOT eating them all!"

JJ laughs, "Save me one, Garcia. I'll take it with me for dessert after my lunch."

"Oh, come on! Please!" Penelope whines. "Come participate in some girl talk in my office! You've been cooped up in yours all morning!"

"Fine," says JJ in mock exasperation. "You've persuaded me. And tell Emily there better be at least one cookie waiting for me when I get in there, or she'll have my pregnant wrath to suffer!"

As the media liaison begins to hang up her phone, she hears Emily in the background: "Oh, I'm so scared!"

* * *

Down on the first floor, Morgan and Reid have just sat down with trays full of food.

"You got a fork right?" teases Morgan when he sees that Reid bought his lunch from the Chinese counter.

"Nope, I've taught myself how to use chopsticks. I don't even need the rubber band trick anymore. It just requires a little patience." replies Reid, proud to prove Derek wrong.

"Oh, of course, you're a GENIUS after all," Morgan says teasingly. "What was it you once said about using chopsticks?"

"Something about how using them is like foraging for dinner using a pair of No.2 pencils."

Morgan and Reid laugh as Morgan unwraps his burger. "Did you get a fortune cookie with that?" he asks.

"Yeah," says Reid as he starts to dig into his orange chicken dish. "Why do you ask?"

"What's it say kid?"

Reid opens the plastic, then breaks the cookie. "Lucky numbers: 6, 8, 15, 27, and 63" he then flips over the strip of paper, "The greatest gift is love."

"In bed!" adds Morgan.

"Huh?" asks Reid, confused at Derek's outburst.

"You're supposed to add 'in bed' to the fortune to make it funny."

Reid sighs, "You're so immature."

"Oh, come on Reid! Laugh, it's funny. Wait, read it again."

"No, you'll do something else to make it perverted."

"I promise I won't." Morgan does the 'cross my heart' sign.

"It says 'The greatest gift is love'".

"Speaking of love, Prettyboy, what's going on between you and JJ?" Morgan smiles.

Reid sighs; he should have seen this coming. All the signs pointed to it: Morgan urging him to take an early lunch, him wanting to know what the fortune cookie said (which typically involve things of that nature), even the fact that Morgan and Emily had been in Garcia's office prior to Morgan inviting him to lunch. His face is bright red as he asks, "Did Garcia put you up to this?"

"Joint effort. We call it 'Operation Lovebirds', her codename, not mine."

"Well, since we're on that topic, what's up with you and Garcia?" counters Spencer.

"You know she's my girl, but it's not like that. Don't try to avoid the question."

"Fine. Yes, JJ and I are dating. It's been about two months now. We didn't announce it to the team because some things don't need to be public knowledge. But we knew that you'd all notice and catch on. I'm not denying a thing, but I'm also not giving you personal details."

Morgan laughs, "All I needed was an admission, man."

The two go back to their meals in awkward silence.

After Derek finishes his fries he asks, "So, have you told her that you love her yet?"

Reid's face goes even redder than before and his palms start to sweat. "That falls under personal details."

"I'll take that as a 'no'."

Reid decides to open up; maybe Morgan can even help him out, "I've been thinking about it. But I've never told a girl that before."

"For starters, don't call JJ a girl, this isn't high school. She's a woman, she is pregnant after all. By the way, doesn't that freak you out? The fact that she's pregnant with another guy's baby? I think that was the other question on all our minds, you know, besides verifying that you guys are really dating."

"Wait, all your minds? Who is 'all'?"

"Garcia, Emily, and I made up Operation Lovebirds. But the other day, even Hotch was probing me for information."

"Hotch too? Well, I guess that makes sense; we're all profilers! JJ and I haven't exactly been hiding our relationship, but we just haven't been exactly public about it. And to answer your question, no. It doesn't freak me out that JJ is pregnant. It's unavoidable, but it doesn't matter to me. I love her."

"You said it. Reid, man, you said it! You just have to say it to her." encourages Morgan.

"Yes, I do love her. Maybe saying it won't be as hard as I thought. Also, I'm glad she's decided to keep the baby. I'm really not a big supporter of abortions."

"So are you gonna help her raise the baby? Be the daddy?" asks Morgan.

"I don't know, Morgan. Ideally, yes. But Jennifer and I haven't discussed it. Yet."

"Oh, so it's Jennifer now?" asks Morgan playfully to lighten the mood.

"I do call her Jennifer sometimes because JJ stands for Jennifer Jareau, and if we get married someday, she won't be a Jareau anymore. So I've been using 'JJ' less."

"'If we get married someday'" mocks Morgan. "Damn, you are whipped, dude." He laughs, "Alright, enough teasing and interrogation for one day, let's get back to work."

'Thank God!' Reid thinks.

* * *

As JJ crosses the bullpen to Garcia's office, she notices that it's completely deserted. She looks at the clock on the wall: 11:45. This is usually the time that Anderson and some of the others take their lunch, so that explains their absence. And Emily is in Garcia's office. But where are Morgan and Reid? She wishes Reid were there because she'd be able to tease him about the cookies, saying, "Garcia has cookies in her office, and you're not invited," just to catch him off guard and to see what his response would be.

She knocks her knocking rhythm and hears Prentiss and Garcia's voices in unison, "Come in!"

JJ enters the room and immediately smells the vanilla air freshener. "Do you guys know why the bullpen is so empty?"

Garcia answers quickly, "Morgan was talking about taking an early lunch. And those other agents usually leave around 11:30 for their lunch break."

"Maybe Reid's in the bathroom, or maybe he went to the cafeteria with Morgan." offers Emily.

"So where are the cookies?" JJ asks.

Emily and Garcia begin to laugh. 'Damn, I should have sensed a trap.' thinks JJ.

Emily takes her place in front of the office door. Garcia offers JJ the extra chair.

"So there aren't any cookies?" she asks sweetly.

"Nope, we just wanted to lure you in here." says Garcia.

"It's time for an intervention," announces Prentiss.

"What?" JJ is laughing now, in disbelief at how far her friends went to get her to talk.

"What's going on with you and Reid?" questions Penelope.

"And don't try to deny it! We've all noticed… Even Hotch." adds Emily.

"We're dating, okay! You guys really didn't need to go to such lengths. You could have just asked me."

"Where's the fun in that?" jokes Garcia. "Today's a boring day with nothing to do but fill out paperwork. Sure, we could have asked, but we wanted to be certain you would admit to it. We even have a codename!"

"Oh? What's that?" laughs the media liaison.

"Operation Lovebirds" answers Prentiss.

"Wow!" mouths JJ.

"Don't make fun of it! I came up with it myself!" says Penelope.

"I'm not making fun," but she can't contain her laughter.

"I'd slap you, but you're pregnant." replies Garcia sarcastically.

"Can I go now?" JJ asks.

"No! We want details!" urges Garcia.

"There are no details. We're in a relationship…." replies JJ.

"Come on! Where was your first date? Does he have any nicknames for you? Has he told you he loves you yet?" asks Emily. Her voice drops to a whisper, "Have you had sex with him?"

"What is this? Tenth grade?"

"It's girl talk. Fess up!" orders Garcia.

"You promised me girl talk and cookies! You owe me a cookie!" retorts Jennifer.

"We want answers!" says Emily.

"Um, first date… we went to Buccemi's after I picked him up from New Beginnings. Nicknames…. nothing unique really, the typical honey, dear, darling, once he called me honey bun, which I thought was kinda weird. He rarely calls me JJ, it's always Jennifer."

"That's strange," commented Garcia.

"What do you call him?" asks Prentiss, "By the way, this does not get you off the hook for the other two questions."

"Usually Spence. Sometimes sweetheart or dear, or honey. That kind of thing. I don't call him Reid, like, ever."

"Why is that?" asks Garcia.

"I don't know, it's his last name. It what everyone around here calls him." replies JJ. But she knows the real reason. If they were to get married, she'd be Mrs. Reid. And a Mrs. Reid can't call her husband 'Reid'.

"Okay, stop avoiding the juicy stuff, honey bun!" says Emily, patronizingly.

JJ sighs, "No, he hasn't told me that he loves me. I know I'm in love with him, but I don't want to be the first to say it."

"That's right, the guy is supposed to say it first!" says Penelope.

"What a load of bullshit!" responds Emily. "Who cares about gender roles? If we follow some kind of dating rulebook, we're only aiding in the degradation of women. JJ, if you think you're in love, then tell him! Don't wait for Reid to say it."

"You've converted me, Emily!" replies Garcia, "You're right! Who says the man has to be the first to say "I love you" in a relationship? JJ, this is Spencer Reid we're talking about, and we all know how he is about women and love! Do you think he has the guts to be the first one to say it?"

"That's not fair! Do you hear yourself? I love him, don't you dare insult his bravery! Do you realize how courageous he was in admitting to his addiction? And receiving treatment?" shouts JJ. She's crying now.

"Shit." Garcia mutters under her breath.

"Apologize!" Emily mouths to Garcia, shocked at how quickly things went downhill.

Penelope hugs JJ. "I'm sorry. You know I didn't mean it that way. I got so caught up in the moment, I didn't even realize how that sounded. Don't hate me, please JJ, forgive me."

The tears subsided, "I forgive you. I know that that's not what you were trying to do. I'm sorry too, for overreacting."

"Don't be, babe. I should have been more sensitive. You're pregnant and in love! That's a lot of hormones and emotion." replies Garcia.

JJ and Emily laugh. "And I'm not answering that last question. Too personal."

"I respect that." says Penelope.

"Let's go get some lunch," proposes Emily.

"My treat!" offers Garcia. "Maybe I'll even buy you that cookie, Jayge," she jokes.

* * *

When the elevator doors open on the first floor the girls are face to face with Morgan and Reid. JJ and Spencer smile at each other and blush, which their team members notice.

"Mission status?" Garcia questions Morgan.

"Operation Lovebirds was a success," Derek replies. "Your results?"

"Successful as well." responds Prentiss.

The entire group laughs.

"I'll let Hotch know about the findings." says Morgan as he and Reid enter the elevator that the women just vacated.

* * *

That night in JJ's living room, the couple is sitting on the couch comparing prices on rocking chairs on the Babies "R" Us website. Reid knows that the time is now. If he can tell Morgan that he loves JJ, he needs to be able to say it to her. Spencer closes the laptop, "Jennifer, I can't focus on gliders right now when I have something important to tell you."

"I know what you're going to say…" JJ replies.

Reid lets out a big breath, looks her in the eyes, and says it. "I love you." To his astonishment, Jennifer said the exact same thing at the exact same time.

Dr. Reid smiles and JJ starts to laugh. They both feel extremely relieved right now, to know that they weren't alone in the feeling, that it wasn't imagined.

"I love you." Reid says again, ecstatic that he'd gotten over this hurdle.

"I love you too, Spence!"

They begin to kiss. And kiss. Making out with more passion then they never had before.

* * *

The next morning, JJ wakes up in Spencer's arms. 'Now I have an answer to Emily's question. Too bad I'll never tell her just what that answer is.'

Reid awakens, feeling his girlfriend in his arms. "How long have you been awake, babe?"

"Not long…. Do you know how sexy you look when you're asleep?" she asks him playfully.

"How am I supposed to answer that question?" Reid asks, bewildered. "Of course I don't know!"

"Very." JJ smiles, "I love you"

"I love you too." Spencer yawns, "Ugh, WHY do we have to go to work today?"

"Yeah, maybe we should have thought ahead before having sex on a weeknight." laughs JJ.

* * *

**"Learning to live in the present moment is part of the path of joy." – Sarah Ban Breathnach**

* * *

_Oh, don't we all just love the Reid and chopsticks scene from season one! :)_

_Sorry to all you smut fans, but I don't write sex scenes. (I'll admit I do like reading them though!)_

_Hope you enjoyed it! Please review or send me a P.M._


	10. Fear of the Unknown

_When I started writing this story, I soon realized that with it being set during season two I was eventually going to have to deal with Gideon's departure. I was really dreading writing this chapter because it is a Reid/JJ fic, but I still needed to address Gideon leaving. I struggled trying to think of a way to write it all as one chapter (because one chapter is enough when he isn't the star of the story). So I took a few days to re-watch some key episodes before setting to work on it. I watched 'No Way Out II: The Evilution of Frank', 'Doubt', and 'In Name and Blood/In Birth and Death' (anyone know why that episode has two names anyway?)_

* * *

_***Speaking of those episodes, there are some really cute Reid/JJ moments there:_

_No Way Out 2: the pair rescues Tracy Belle from Frank's mother's apartment (and that adorable line: "No matter what happens this time, we don't split up, clear?")_

_Doubt: Reid ran over to check on JJ after Katie spit on her (plus they seemed inseparable all episode)_

_In Name & Blood: JJ finds Reid asleep at the office waiting for Gideon to play chess with him (and again they seemed to be side by side all episode!)_

_Now, back to your regularly scheduled author's note***_

* * *

_Also, this means that this chapter is set directly after the second episode in season 3. And from now on we're in season 3 territory! For those of you struggling to keep track of how far along JJ's pregnancy is, I'm putting this at about 4 months now._

_Usual disclaimer: Remember, I don't own a thing here!_

* * *

**"Grief teaches the steadiest minds to waver." - Sophocles**

* * *

The night the BAU got back from the case in Milwaukee, JJ and Reid decided to spend the night separately in their own apartments. JJ claimed she was tired and emotionally drained and said she wanted to go home and crash alone, without company. Spencer dropped her off at her place and told her that he'd see her tomorrow at the office.

Less than half an hour later, JJ's bubble bath was interrupted by a phone call. She rushed out of the tub and quickly wrapped herself in a robe before retrieving her cell phone from the bathroom counter. She knew it was Reid calling because it was her personalized ringtone for him, Christina Aguilera's "Ain't No Other Man". She wouldn't have gotten out of the tub for just anyone.

"Hello?" she answered just before the call was about to go to voicemail.

"Hey, I didn't think you were gonna pick up. Are you in bed already? I hope I didn't wake you!" replied Reid, feeling guilty.

"I'm not in bed yet. But you did manage to get me out of the bathtub, dripping wet. Is everything okay? You just left!"

"I'm sorry! Everything's fine. I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to head over to Gideon's cabin to see if he's there. He's still not answering his phone."

"Okay Spence, be careful. And please call me once you find out what's going on." JJ pauses while she wraps her hair in a towel, so as not to drench the phone. "I love you."

"I love you too. And of course I'll let you know. I know you're worried about him too."

"Alright, talk to you soon."

"Goodbye"

"Bye."

After hanging up, JJ returned to her bath. She added more bubbles and tried to relax.

The past month had been horrible: Sarah Jacobs' murder, having to rescue Tracey Belle again, going to Sarah's funeral, Gideon's return to work (which had been too soon in her opinion), the murders of the college girls in Arizona, Gideon's total disappearance, Hotch's suspension, Emily's resignation, and finally having to answer to Strauss while they were away on the case in Milwaukee.

Things were starting to get back to normal. It seemed as though Strauss was going to allow both Hotch and Prentiss to stay with the BAU.

But this thing with Gideon was gnawing on all of them. And JJ, especially, couldn't escape it. This was all that Reid talked about. Spencer had probably called him fifty times in the last few days, on different numbers, in the hopes of finding out what was going on.

JJ couldn't blame him for isolating himself. Gideon had just lost a loved one, in a very brutal way. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to walk in on Spencer's bloody corpse.

No. She had to push that image out of her head. It was all too possible that their job could lead to a terrible, untimely death. Georgia was a close call. Another few hours with Hankel, and who knows? Reid might not be here today.

Gideon deserved to be able to take time off; to get away from the FBI and the daily horror it was to work trying to stop serial killers. He'd had a mental breakdown before, a 'major depressive episode', after losing six agents to Adrian Bale's bomb in Boston. But this was worse. It hit much closer to home. In fact, it took place INSIDE his home. JJ wouldn't be surprised if Gideon decided to retire. Then another thought crossed JJ's mind; what if he turned to suicide instead?

JJ didn't know how serious Gideon and Sarah's relationship was, she'd never met her before, but she'd known of her existence. Just a few weeks before her death, Gideon had been talking about how he and his friend Sarah were going to visit his son, Stephen. By the way that Jason had emphasized the word 'friend', JJ knew that he'd meant girlfriend. Hotch had even said that Sarah was an old college friend. This all pointed to a rekindled romance, a few decades in the making.

If Gideon was truly in love with Sarah Jacobs, then it was a viable possibility that Gideon might really have turned to that option. That would explain the vanishing act and the unanswered phone calls.

Reid was heading for Gideon's cabin right now. What if he finds him dead? JJ began to cry at the thought. Gideon is like a father to him. Seeing his lifeless body would crush him! Suddenly, JJ felt very sick. She made it out of the bathtub just in time to vomit into the toilet.

As she calmed herself down, she chastised herself, 'You are pregnant, it's not healthy to get so worked up over things that might not actually have taken place.'

JJ got up off the floor, toweled herself off, drained the tub, and brushed her teeth to get the taste of vomit out of her mouth. She then headed to her bedroom to find some comfortable pajamas.

Once dry and dressed, she went to the kitchen in search of yogurt. When she was a child, she'd learned from her mother that eating plain yogurt helped settle an upset stomach, and it always did the trick for her. JJ always kept in on hand during the days of morning sickness.

She heard the Christina Aguilera song playing from the bathroom again, so she promptly retrieved her cell phone, afraid of what might Spencer have to tell her.

"Spence?"

"Hey, I'm about to leave the cabin now. Do… do you mind if I come over for a bit?" his voice sounded strained, like he was trying to hold emotions back.

"Was, was Gideon there? Did you find him?" JJ was beyond worried now. Her imagination may have been correct.

"Uh, no. He's gone. Everything's gone. The shelves were empty. He left me a letter."

"Do you know why he wasn't answering his phones?" JJ asked.

"The cabin's landline was disconnected. He left his cell phone behind. Look, I… I need to see you, honey. I need to talk to you."

"Alright, I'll leave the door unlocked. Just let yourself in when you get here. Please try to calm down, you sound like you're freaking out. I don't want you getting in an accident on the way here."

"Okay, I'll try. I love you."

And before JJ could reply, Spencer hung up on her.

* * *

TWO HOURS LATER:

Before Reid could get all the way in the door, JJ bombarded him.

"Where the Hell have you been! I have been worried sick! It should have taken you half an hour, forty-five minutes at most! I thought you were dead on the side of the road somewhere! How… how could you… why….?"

Her voice broke and she couldn't yell anymore. Instead, she collapsed, sobbing, into Spencer's sweater-covered arms.

"I'm sorry! I'm so, so, sorry. I should have called. I should have…" his voice broke from the crying, "I should have let you know. I stopped at a store. I just couldn't handle it. He's gone, Jennifer. Gideon left. He abandoned me. Just like my father did. He abandoned me, us, the team!"

"No! No he didn't. He didn't abandon you. He left because he couldn't deal with it all anymore." she took his tearstained face in her soft hands, "Spence, Gideon is dealing with a trauma. His girlfriend was murdered! He… he deserves the right to grieve. I don't blame him for needing to get away from this job where he sees nothing but death and human depravity!"

"But I need him. He is family to me! I can't, I can't do this job without him."

"Spence, you might think that, but it's not the truth. You don't need him; you are a brilliant man, and a skilled profiler. You'll be alright without him." She tried to stop the tears from falling and to calm herself down. "Imagine being in his place, what would you do if I was killed?"

"No, don't ever say that! I couldn't bear it. Just the thought of it! Of losing you." Reid shook his head.

"See? That is how Gideon is feeling. He needs to get away from it all. I don't think he'd ever intentionally try to hurt you. He probably gave it a lot of thought before leaving. I'm willing to bet that he only left because he decided you were strong enough to make it without him."

"God, I love you. Jennifer, you are the real genius in this room. I've never heard such reasoning and truth come from someone before. You are so, so right."

She smiled slightly; she was actually getting through to him!

"Now think again about what you just said, Spence. You said you can't bear the thought of losing me. How do think I felt tonight not knowing why you were so late? I called you several times! I called the police but they said they wouldn't be able to do anything unless you'd been missing for over twenty-four hours. I thought about driving around to look for you!"

"I turned my phone off." He looked into her eyes, "Jennifer, I want to let you know that I am utterly sorry, with every fiber of my being, for my behavior tonight. I am so weak. Will you ever forgive me?"

"You're not weak, Spence. You are one of the strongest people I know. And I don't have a single thing to forgive you for. If anything, it should be me apologizing to you, for yelling at you when you got here."

"You don't see it! I am weaker than weak. Do you want to know why I was so late?"

"Yeah! I want to know why you're acting so outside of your normal self."

"The first thing I thought about after reading his letter…" Reid closed his eyes. "I'm so ashamed. It was the Dilaudid."

"No, you are over that now!" JJ began to sob again, "You went to rehab! We are moving on from that."

"I stopped at a convenience store. I bought at least twenty bottles of alcohol. I couldn't stop myself… The urge to forget it all was too overwhelming. Wanting to escape myself was all that I could think about."

"Is this all in your car? You… you didn't drink any of it did you?" she didn't smell any booze on him, and she was asking because he'd just been driving.

"No, I wanted to make sure I wouldn't be impaired on the roads. And after I bought it, the only thing I wanted to do was to get home and start drinking it, all the pain, the abandonment, away. But then I thought of you. I remembered that you were waiting for me. And it took all of my willpower to drive here, to not be a coward and an addict."

"You made the right choice." JJ smiled halfheartedly then kissed Reid's wet face. She led him to the bedroom and offered him one of his sets of pajamas. They each kept clothes at the other person's apartment now.

Reid changed in the bathroom and washed his face. JJ waited patiently on her bed and saw that the alarm clock on her nightstand read 1:09 AM. Tomorrow morning was going to be torture having to get up and get ready for work. And based on how tonight had been going, JJ didn't think it was likely that they'd be going to bed anytime soon.

She knew that tonight was a major turning point in their relationship. If they could survive this, and Reid could let this urge die down, then it could do nothing but make their relationship stronger.

Spencer emerged from the bathroom and handed JJ the letter from Gideon. "I'd read it to you, but I just can't find the strength to do so."

After JJ read the letter she was quiet for a few moments. Everything she'd told Reid had been right. Gideon made sure that Reid would be strong enough to handle it before he decided to leave. Why couldn't he see that between the lines? Why couldn't this profiler who sat beside her determine this on his own? Why did he need her to tell him exactly the same thing that Gideon had? JJ was sure Reid knew every word, every letter on that piece of paper. He would have memorized it the first time he read it.

"How many times did you read this, Spence?"

"I don't know. I lost count. Why do you ask?"

"Because I read it once, and I recognized that Gideon had faith in you. He knows that you're resilient enough to do your job without him. Why couldn't you see this yourself? Why didn't you believe it until I told you the exact same thing? Why don't you have faith in yourself?"

"I mean, I do, I believe him, and you, and myself. Just judging by the fact that tonight I decided to come here instead of going home to the alcohol and oblivion. I guess I'm just not ready to believe it."

"That doesn't make any sense!" she sighed.

"I know. But I'm going to make it up to you. And to Gideon. Tonight was a time of weakness. But I am not going to relapse. I'm going to continue going to therapy sessions at New Beginnings. I'm going to listen to you and open up even more to you. I'm going to put all of my energy into our relationship because you deserve it, Jennifer. I promised that I'm going to be here to support you and the baby. And with your permission, I want going to start calling him or her OUR baby. I hope to marry you raise the child as my own. If you'll stay with me and support me through my ongoing recovery, I promise I will be the best husband that anyone could ask for."

JJ sat next to him in shock, not believing the words she'd just heard come out of his mouth. "Are you serious? Was that, like, a proposal?"

"No, I don't have a ring. That was a promise. A promise to you, and to Gideon. I know that he'd want that for us. So what do you think? Would you agree to this proposition? And before you answer, remember, I plan to propose with a ring, and to get down on one knee, the whole shebang!"

"Yes, Spencer, I couldn't think of a better way to spend the rest of my life! And I love that you just used the word shebang."

They both laughed harder than they had in a long time. JJ had never felt as happy, secure, and immersed in love as she felt right now.

Tonight was a strange night, one of so many twists and turns, and such a rollercoaster of emotions.

* * *

When the alarm clock sounded at 6:00 AM, JJ groaned. She'd gotten, at the very most, three hours of sleep.

She quickly turned off the alarm because it was murder to her ears. Reid tightened his grip around her now four-months-pregnant middle. He whispered, "It's Saturday, right? We don't have to go in to work."

"No, it's Thursday. I wish it was Saturday though." JJ replied.

"Let's sleep in. I'll call Garcia and tell her we're going to be in late."

"I like the way you think, Dr. Reid! And before we leave, we're going to get all of those bottles of booze out of your car. If I can't drink, neither can you!"

"Wonderful reasoning, dear." Spencer replied sleepily.

* * *

**"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love." – Sophocles**

Yep, I used this quote in chapter 8, but I think it fits here even better! And it was a total coincidence that both of this chapter's quotes were from Sophocles.

* * *

_I am unbelievably pleased with this chapter. I was dreading writing it, and it took a lot of work! But I think it came out wonderfully, seeing as when I started writing it, I had no idea where it would end up._

_It was really intense writing JJ's lines yelling at Reid. I felt like at any moment she would snap and actually get physical!_

_Also, I don't know if the yogurt thing actually works. I Googled 'foods to settle an upset stomach' and on some website, someone commented about plain yogurt._

_I really want feedback! Please review! I love to read them, I always reply, and I'm just dying to know what your thoughts are on this chapter!_


	11. Pink or Blue?

_I had a poll on my profile pertaining to this chapter. Only 5 people answered my question._

_This chapter is set one day after the season 3 episode 'Scared to Death'._

_Remember, I don't own a thing!_

_And also, I know nothing about pregnancy and prenatal doctor's visits, so let me know if this is completely wrong!_

* * *

**"Motherhood is a biological fact, while fatherhood is a social invention." – Margaret Mead**

* * *

Today, JJ and Reid could be found sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's office. It had been a week since Gideon had left, and the team had just gotten back from a case in Oregon, where a man had used his victims' greatest fears as a way to murder them. Sure, things were different now without Jason Gideon around, but the team seemed to be adjusting fairly well. Even Spencer was beginning to accept his mentor's departure.

Reid and JJ decided today would be a good day to get some things taken care of, so they opted to both use a personal day off of work, it was a Friday after all. First, they were going to have a sonogram done. It was finally time to find out the sex of the baby. They had also set up afternoon appointments with a real estate agent to tour several houses.

Reid decided he didn't have a need for the cabin that Gideon had bequeathed to him, so they were also going to put it on the market. Between the couple's combined savings and the money they hoped to get out of the cabin, they figured they'd be able to afford a house with a couple of bedrooms and a nice sized yard, perfect for raising a family.

This doctor's appointment was the first one that Reid had come along to. Now that JJ knew for sure where their relationship was headed, she figured that Spencer would want to be a part of everything. In fact, last night the pair had decided that even though he wasn't the biological father, Spencer would be listed as the child's father on the birth certificate. They had also come to the conclusion that the baby's last name would be Reid, as JJ intended to become Mrs. Jennifer Reid at some point.

JJ was dying to know the baby's gender. It didn't really matter of course, she'd love a son or a daughter equally. She wasn't even sure what she was hoping for more though. She'd always wanted one of each, however she had to admit, a little girl was slightly more appealing to her. Then again, later on she thought a teenage boy would be easier to handle than a teenage girl.

Reid really hadn't shown much interest in speculating what gender he hoped for. He'd given the nonchalant reply of "It doesn't really matter to me, I'm just happy to be in your child's life." To which JJ had responded, "You mean our child's life." "Yes, I did. In our baby's life," was Spencer's reply, right before he kissed her.

JJ's reverie about last night's conversation faded when a voice called her name.

"Jennifer Jareau?" summoned the nurse.

JJ and Reid followed the short, brunette woman into the room hand-in-hand.

"Hi there, I'm Sapphire. I haven't met you before!" the nurse extended her hand to Reid.

"I'm Dr…. no, just call me Spencer. Spencer Reid," he introduced himself while shaking the nurse's hand. "You have a beautiful name by the way; I've never met a Sapphire before."

"Why thank you, I've only met one other person with the same name. My mother definitely succeeded in coming up with a unique one!" She pointed at a chair along the wall, "You can take a seat over there if you like."

The nurse addressed JJ, "So, I'm assuming he's the father?"

"Yes." JJ answered with a smile. She wasn't going to get into the details with the nurse.

"Well, you two are an adorable couple, if I do say so myself!"

"Thank you." Reid and JJ replied concurrently.

Sapphire laughed, "See what I mean? Even saying the same thing!" She once again turned her attention to JJ, "So how have things been going since your last visit? Any questions, concerns, changes?"

"Um, everything has been okay I guess. Normal things, a bit of constipation once in a while. Sometimes I feel kind of weaker than usual."

"Heartburn and constipation are pretty common in the second trimester. Weaker how?"

"Oh, I don't know, I sometimes feel dizzy, that kind of thing."

"Have you been eating healthy?"

"I try, but sometimes it's hard to eat on a normal schedule because of my job." JJ admitted.

"You know that it's important it is for pregnant women to attain extra calories. Also, make sure you're getting plenty of calcium and iron into your diet. And drink plenty of water!"

"I've been drinking a lot more water lately. Actually, my coworker Penelope is always trying to get me to do this and that, she reads up on pregnancy stuff online more than I do!"

Reid piped up, "That's surprising, considering how often you're reading those blogs! Well, actually maybe it's not surprising considering we're talking about Garcia!" This caused JJ to laugh.

"We'll do a regular blood test after the ultrasound. Just want to make sure you're not anemic. And it's actually not unusual for pregnant women to feel faint due to changes in blood flow because of the fetus. When I was pregnant with my second, I actually passed out at a family Fourth of July cookout! Anyway, enough about me, let's find out the sex of the baby!"

Sapphire left to find the ultrasound technician, a young woman with beautiful long black hair named Malika.

JJ looked over at Reid, "I'm so excited, I cannot wait!"

Spencer smiled and took her hand in his, "This really is an thrilling moment. We're going to find out if we'll be raising a son or a daughter."

"Are you ready?"

"What do you mean?" Reid was thrown by JJ's question.

"Are you ready for all of this? Because being here with me is a big step, we can't go back from this. It's different from me showing you the ultrasound pictures later, you're here and you're going to see the baby on the screen and hear the heartbeat. Are you ready to step into the role of a father?"

"Of course I am Jennifer! Or did you completely forget the promise I made to you last week? And what we talked about last night? This child is going to have my last name. This is a gift that is unbelievable and incredible to me! I love you, babe."

Hearing Spencer's words brought tears to her eyes; JJ had asked if he was ready because she was still feeling a little insecure. But now she knew without a doubt that Reid really was ready to be a father and a husband. "I love you too, Spence. And your love and willingness to take all of this on is an incredible gift to me."

After a brief knock, Sapphire reentered the room, followed by Malika, who pushes in the 3D ultrasound machine.

The ultrasound technician asks JJ, "You do want to find out the sex of the baby today, correct?"

"Of course!" exclaims JJ. "I can't believe all those women who say they want to be surprised. How could you not want to know whether you're going to have a boy or a girl?"

"Yes, there are a lot of mothers who want it to be a surprise; that is why I asked!" replies Malika.

As Malika begins to set up the ultrasound machine, Sapphire asks, "So have you started thinking about names yet?"

JJ replies, "No, not really. We'll probably start discussing them once we know the sex though!"

Spencer decided to add, "We did come to the decision that the baby will have my last name."

"Pardon me if this is too personal, but what is your relationship like? I mean, are you two datingor engaged, what?" asked the nurse.

"Well… both." JJ wasn't sure how she should explain their relationship status.

Thankfully, Reid elaborated. "We are dating and we've been discussing marriage. I made a promise to Jennifer, but I haven't officially proposed yet." He began to blush, because tomorrow he planned to do just that, propose.

"Oh, how exciting!" gushed Sapphire. Before the nurse could ask any more questions, the ultrasound technician proclaimed that the machine was ready.

JJ giggled when the cool gel was smeared over her belly. Spencer smiled and once again held her hand. Within minutes the couple could see their baby on the screen.

"So, do you have a guess as to what the gender is?" asked Malika.

Reid studied the screen, squinting hard. "Well, I don't see a," He cleared his throat.

"It's a girl!" announced the nurse and technician simultaneously.

JJ's mouth fell open; she then brought her hand to her face. Before she knew what was happening, she was smiling, laughing, and crying all at once.

"A girl," repeated Reid in wonder. Before his relationship with JJ started, the genius had never given fatherhood much thought. And now here he was, watching the ultrasound of a fetus who would soon be his daughter.

Wiping tears away, JJ turned to her almost-fiancé, "What do you think?"

"I think that one day very soon I'll be holding in my arms a little girl who is second only to her mother in terms of being the most beautiful person on the planet."

* * *

**"A daughter is a day brightener and a heart warmer." - Unknown Author**

* * *

_Yeah, please tell me if this is not how those appointments go, this was just my imagination of one!_

_My poll was for people to vote on whether the baby should be a boy or a girl. I just didn't want her to have "Henry" all over again! I mean, yes Will still is the biological father, but the date of conception is different than on the show. I couldn't decide what gender the baby should be, so I let you people choose! Out of the five people to answer the question, four chose girl and one chose boy._

_Reviewing will guarantee a PM from me! I always personally thank those who favorite and alert. And I attend to anything you write in a review, just as long as it's a signed review! (I hate anonymous reviews because I can't reply to them!) And please don't ask for certain things to happen in future chapters, because I write my stories the way I want them to be!_


	12. House Hunting

_Author's note: Hello all! I sincerely apologize for the hiatus. It has been nearly a year since my last update. Fanfiction is just a hobby for me, and at times the creative juices are frozen. I simply didn't have the time or the drive to continue this fic for a rather long period of time. (going through a bad breakup didn't help matters, this is a romance fic after all!)_

_I have revised the first 11 chapters of this fic, so please feel free to reread if from the begining to refresh your memory. _

_I also wanted to announce that I am now a beta reader, so if you need any help with a fic feel free to contact me, I'd be happy to help!_

_This chapter catches up where chapter 11 left off (same day). I look forward to writing several chapters in the next few months, so I don't forsee a long wait for you wonderful dedicated readers!_

_Thank you for your patience with me. Usual disclaimers about not owning CM apply. Enjoy!_

* * *

**"Life's a voyage that's homeward bound." ~ Herman Melville**

* * *

After learning that JJ was indeed carrying a baby girl, they'd finished the doctor's appointment with a blood test and other prenatal examinations. The couple then stopped at Reid's favorite local deli for lunch. The doctor's appointment had lasted longer than they had expected, so Reid and JJ arrived at the realtor's office about fifteen minutes late.

They were meeting Daniel Morris, a real estate agent whose face graced many billboards in the Quantico area. Garcia always joked that he looked like a less muscular Derek Morgan, so JJ wanted to meet him in person to see how much he actually resembled their coworker.

Upon entering Morris Realty, the couple was promptly greeted by a tall, handsome man with a deep tan skin tone. "Mr. Reid, I presume?"

Daniel looked the same as he did in his advertisements, and that meant JJ was looking at a man that could be Morgan's brother. In fact, both men had the same initials.

"Yes, I'm Dr. Spencer Reid," Reid introduced himself, shaking the man's hand.

"Daniel Morris. Pleasure to meet you." The realtor then turned his attention to JJ, "And you're Jennifer?"

JJ too shook the man's hand, "Yes, Jennifer Jareau. I apologize for keeping you waiting. The doctor's appointment ran a bit late and we hadn't eaten so we stopped for lunch."

"Not a problem! I was beginning to wonder if you were coming, so I came out to the lobby to wait for you. Would you like to join me in my office so we can start to discuss what you're looking for?"

Without waiting for an answer, he led them out of the reception area. The group bypassed a secretary's desk on the way to short hallway through which they accessed Mr. Morris's office.

The office's walls were covered with pictures of smiling couples and families posing in front of houses.

"Hopefully you two will be the newest addition to my wall of happy homeowners," said Daniel as Reid and JJ sat down in the two leather chairs facing the man's desk.

"So what's your story? I remember from our short discussion over the phone that you work for the FBI, Mr. Reid."

Spencer answered, "Actually, we're both FBI agents. We work for the Behavioral Analysis Unit."

JJ continued, "Spencer is a genius, he graduated high school at age twelve and has three PhD's. He's a profiler." She wasn't sure what came over her, but JJ couldn't stop herself from bragging about her boyfriend's accomplishments.

Reid continued the trend, "Jennifer is our unit's media liaison. She holds press conferences and sets up the initial contact with local police departments for the cases that we take."

The realtor wasn't sure how to respond. "Wow, two FBI agents wanting to live under one roof!"

"Yes, we need to find a bigger place because I'm pregnant and we need to move in together," said JJ.

"Congratulations!" exclaimed Daniel, beaming at JJ. "Children are such a blessing. I have a two-year-old daughter myself, her name is Makayla." He turned his flat screen computer monitor around to show them his desktop wallpaper.

"Aww, she's adorable!" proclaimed JJ.

"I wish you two the best of luck together. If I could go back in time, I would have tried harder to be a better husband. My wife divorced me because she thought I was too focused on work. Now I only get to see my daughter every other weekend."

"I'm sorry," replied Reid, not sure what to say.

Morris quickly changed the subject, "Okay, let's get on with business. What is your current living arrangement?"

JJ answered, "We each are renting an apartment, though lately Spence has been staying at my place for the most part. We've started to turn his apartment into a storage area for all the baby stuff."

"And now you're looking become homeowners and combine your lives into one dwelling, correct?"

"That's the plan!" said Reid. "Actually, I also own a cabin in the area that I want to put on the market."

"Oh?"

"My friend left it to me when he moved away. We don't really have any use for it, so I'd like to sell it so we'll have more to spend on our new house."

"Great, I'd have to take a look at it and have a home inspection done before I can start trying to sell it."

"Sounds good. But today we're more interested in starting out house hunt." continued Reid.

"So, I'm assuming you want to stay close to work?"

"Yes, we'd prefer to own a property in Quantico or the surrounding area," Reid answered.

The real estate agent turned to his computer and opened his database of listings. "You'll definitely get more 'bang for your buck' looking in Triangle or Dumfries. Would that be alright?"

"We don't mind a short commute in exchange for more space." said JJ.

"Are you looking for a single family dwelling or a townhome?" asked the realtor.

"We're open to either one. We've been discussing that quite a bit. Each style has its own benefits and drawbacks. Houses are more private but also a lot more work. Most attached homes require a lot less owner maintenance but then there's homeowner's association fees." reasoned Reid.

"Either one…." muttered Daniel as he narrowed down the results in his database. "And how many bedrooms and bathrooms are you looking for?"

JJ knew exactly what she wanted in that regard, "We definitely need at least three bedrooms and two or more bathrooms would be nice. We'll need a master bedroom, a nursery, and a guestroom. And Spence needs a library, so that will have to be in the guestroom unless the house has a den or something." She gave Reid a glance.

"You can't make me get rid of all those books!" he laughed.

"Do you have any 'must haves' or 'deal breakers'?"

JJ once more took over, "We really need a safe neighborhood, and we'd like to be close to schools, daycares, parks, that kind of thing."

Reid added, "We also need a place to park our cars. And we have a lot of stuff, so extra storage space would be a real bonus."

"I'm assuming you want a turn-key?" said the realtor, "No fixer-uppers?" he elaborated.

Reid answered, "I'm not much of a home-repair guy. Some small cosmetic changes like painting or new flooring are really the only renovations we can handle. "

"Oh, and your budget! That's really important! I should have asked that first."

"I think we're most comfortable staying around $250,000." replied Reid.

"Alright, I have five properties I'd like to show you. Are you interested in seeing some today?"

"If you have the time today, I think we better see them all," answered JJ. "Our work schedule can be pretty chaotic, and if we get called away on a case, we could lose out on a dream house!"

"You two are my only scheduled appointment this afternoon, so you really lucked out!"

* * *

Morris first took them to a 3,100 square foot house in Triangle, Virginia. JJ was almost afraid to get out of the car. The front lawn was shrouded in huge trees and the house itself looked very outdated. Inside, they found four bedrooms, three bathrooms, and more pink shag carpet than one person could handle in a lifetime. After less than twenty minutes, Reid and JJ decided that there was no way that they could make the house work for them.

The second property that the real estate agent showed them was a newer townhome. It had three bedrooms, three bathrooms, and a one car garage. JJ loved the granite countertops in the kitchen and bathrooms. But at 1,500 square feet, they weren't sure if the townhome had enough room for the two of them plus a daughter. Reid said that they'd keep it on their list.

At $222,000 the last Triangle property that Daniel showed them was the lowest-priced. JJ was immediately enchanted by the pre-school half a mile down the road. The townhome was part of a complex with its own pool and playground. While it had a good deal of shared outdoor space, the place had almost no yard of its own. The property had almost the exact same layout as the last one they had toured, except that it was even smaller and only had two bathrooms. As much as the couple loved the neighborhood, they ultimately had to put the place down as a 'no' in their book.

The realtor also had two places in Dumfries, VA to show Reid and JJ. The first home was a little more than they wanted to pay, but he couldn't resist showing them the option. Reid loved the large bedrooms, three bathrooms, and unfinished basement. JJ couldn't believe how large the fenced-in back yard was. But between the price, lack of parking, and isolation, the couple really found it hard to see themselves living there.

When Daniel pulled up alongside the second place that he wanted to show them he was shocked to see the "For Sale" sign had been uprooted and deposited in the dumpster. He then called his secretary who confirmed that the townhome was no longer on the website.

He shut the phone and turned to Reid and JJ, "I'm sorry, they must have taken it off the market in the last few days. It was still online just a few hours ago!"

At this point, there was only one place that they had deemed a 'maybe'. JJ was beginning to get tired, and she was starting to worry that they wouldn't be able to find the perfect place.

"I wonder…" said Daniel to himself. He again called his secretary, "Is there any chance that I can take our lovely couple to that new construction yet?"

When he finished his call he said, "Okay, I have a surprise for you two. There's a new complex being built in Triangle. I haven't been able to tour it yet, but the model unit just opened this week."

When they arrived at the construction site, JJ was immediately delighted to see that it was across the street from a park. The price for the base unit was to be $230,000. The example that they toured was 1,750 square feet, had a two car garage, and had three bedrooms and three and a half bathrooms. They were charmed by the hardwood floors and modern kitchen. The living room had a fireplace and all of the bedrooms had huge closets. Reid also loved the brick colonial façade.

The new construction seemed to be the best place they had toured. And with the complex still being under construction, if they were to purchase a unit they would d be able to select many finishing touches.

* * *

That night, Spencer brought up the subject. "So, Jennifer, how about that townhouse?"

"Do you mean the ones that they're still building?"

"Yes. I think that was the best place we saw today."

"I agree, but I'm worried about the timing. They said that the units won't be move-in ready for a few months."

"We can stay here for a while still. I can put everything in my apartment in a storage unit. Plus, Gideon's cabin still needs to be sold."

"But I really don't want to have to deal with the stress of moving being eight or nine months pregnant!"

Reid wrapped his arms around her, "Trust me, you won't have to worry about anything. You know the team will be willing to help us move."

"That's true. Well I guess there aren't many other cons against the place. Are we going to make it official?"

"I think we should. I'll call in the morning" said Reid.

"We're getting our own place!" JJ started giggling.

"Yeah, we are!" Reid kissed her.

* * *

**"Home is any four walls that enclose the right person." - Helen Rowland**

* * *

_I hope you liked this! Again, sorry about the long wait. _

_Real estate is kind of a hobby of mine. I enjoy watching House Hunters and reading about houses on the market in my area. So Reid and JJ found a place of their own! Exciting! Triangle, VA and Dumfries, VA are towns near Quantico._

_Please review! _


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